Them, I tell that I’m an ultra vegan who refuses to kill any living creature, and shame on them for their wanton slaughter of innocent insects.ġ6. If it’s not solar panels, it’s for exterminators. The Caller ID always comes up with something like “SUN CITY” or “SOLAR SOLUTIONS.” When I see those, I usually answer with: “Hello, we already have solar panels, how can I help you?” They usually just respond with something like, “Ah, have a nice day, then,” and hang up.
#SNAPPY COMEBACKS INSTALL#
I get calls all the time for companies trying to install solar panels on my roof. “Are your parents proud of you for being a thief?”ġ5. “Do your parents know you steal money from old ladies for a living?” If it’s a scam call, I always ask them what they tell their parents they do for a living. Basically, it pushes them into a corner where 99% of their usual responses would make them look like complete assholes, while allowing me to stay polite the whole time.ġ4. Trying to push me to use a product against my religion would be an asshole move. It’s a great excuse because even though they know that I’m most likely not Amish (because they have me on the phone) questioning a religion would be an asshole move. I just tell them that I’m Amish and my religion doesn’t allow me to have whatever it is they’re selling. Joes morgue you bag em’ we tag em’ what can I do you for?ġ3. Answer the phone in a normal voice and go along with what they say for minute, then suddenly exclaim, “OH MY GOD NO! NO STAY BACK, KEEP AWAY FROM ME, I’M SORRY I’LL GET IT FOR YOU I SWEAR,” and then drop the phone.ġ2. Asking for his information etc it scared TF out of him lmao dude was just trolling.ġ1. I used to work in a call centre and I vividly remember when one customer told my co-worker that he was a cop and that he just got involved in a crime case for calling. 100% success rate and the only time they’ve called back is to ask me not to call the police.ġ0. I consistently say, “I’m under 18 (I’m not) and I’m going to call the police,” and hang up. They will take you off their call list.ĩ. If they are a telemarketer, tell them you are deceased and start crying. When you get a call from a number you don’t recognize, answer and if they ask for your name, ask them who they are first. I usually just draw on my inner 9 year old and scream like I just got kicked off the x-box.Ĩ. J: “Why not? You don’t want random people calling you all day?”ħ. Can I get your name and home phone number and I can call you later tonight?” J: “Yeah that sounds great, but I’m actually really busy at the moment. T: “Hello I was wanting to see if you’re interested in purchasing (blank)?” My favorite way is the way Jerry Seinfeld did it in one episode. Answer the call with, “Hello caller, you’re on the air!”Ħ. When they ask me if I want to hear about their product I say, “Sure, but first let me tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ.”ĥ. Them: Can I interest you in the chance to win £500?Ĥ. I usually try to say something that would bewilder them. I always “sell’ what ever they are selling for a living… Need your ducts cleaned? Oh, I own a duct cleaning business… Need lawn care? Oh, I own a landscaping company… Water filter? Oh, I own a water store.
I’d say, “Sorry, my son is on fire.” And hang up.Ģ.
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